The Talk
by disnickyX
Summary: A response to SKRowling's "fanfiction of my fanfiction" Challenge. I chose to do, "Not over you," the sequel to "If I Only Had a..." This starts off where SKRowling left off, and is told from Vega's POV. It's a year later and Charlie, Vega's crush is sleeping over, but Vega keeps having a problem with the thing in her pants.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **Okay, so this is a challenge fic. It's a "fanfic of my fanfic" challenege posted by **SKRowling**. Her birthday was the 21st of November and she wanted to see how it would feel to have, well, fanfics written that were inspired by_ her_ fanfics. I thought it was a neat idea, and since I loved the whole "If I only had a…" story/saga thingie. I decided to do that one. So, if you've never read her fanfic. You just might be a little lost.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Victorious. Jeez, why do you guys feel like breaking me down by having me admit that out loud? It hurts okay, it physically hurts. Also, I don't own Vega and Charlie. **SKRowling **does.

{~~~~O~~~~}

Picture day is tomorrow; and unlike everyone else here at Hollywood Arts I couldn't care less. It's practically a holiday here, for girls anyway. We're supposed to have slumber parties with our bffs and choose the perfect outfits, make-up, hairstyles, etc.

Most of us will coordinate our outfits so that we match our "cliques;" some of us will hire a professional to dress us; a few of us will go as far as to dye our hair, or trade our glasses for contacts, or vice versa. Hell, some of us might even wear glasses we don't normally need to wear just to _look _sophisticated.

See? It's a really big deal, and I wish I could participate, but I can't. I mean, I can, and I will, but I'll probably be the only one to prepare solo. And only losers do that.

I don't have many friends. It's not my fault. It's my moms'. They're famous, especially TORI. Yeah, _that_ Tori Vega. Anyone who talks to me always asks more about her than they do me.

I guess I could ignore it and be their friend anyway. I could invite them to my house, watch them freak out over my mom, and then let them brag about knowing TORI personally just to get them some cool points. I could let them use me like that. I could.

Problem is, my momma, Jade, raised me to have too much stupid pride. So, I keep to myself, and now everyone thinks I'm stuck up.

"Hey, Vega."

I blink a few times when I hear Charlie's voice beside me and realize I've been staring into my locker like a retard. Honestly, I don't even know why she talks to me. I'm so weird. But I can't say that I'm not glad. I've had a crush on her since last year.

"West!" She yells impatiently, waving her hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" I say stupidly.

"It's picture day tomorrow." She smiles.

God I love her smile. She's got the pinkest lips; the whitest and straightest teeth, the-

"So….are you gonna invite me over or what?" She interrupts my thoughts and I do that stupid blinking thing again. "You know, to get ready for tomorrow?" she continues when I don't answer her.

Charlie wants to come to my house? The thought should excite me. We've gotten closer over the past year, but not close enough for slumber parties. I don't even know where she lives, but I'm sure she knows where I live. _Everyone _knows where I live...because I live with TORI.

How am I supposed to know whether or not she wants to come over for me, and not just for my mom?

_Test her._

The thought comes to me suddenly, and it only takes me a few seconds to figure out a way to do just that. I take an inconspicuous breath and go into acting mode. Really I'm lying, but what's the difference?

"Maybe we should go to your house. My mom's on tour (Which is not a lie as TORI really is on tour right now) and Momma's going out of town this evening (Total lie). I'm not supposed to have anyone over when they're gone." I say. If she changes her mind about wanting to spend time with me, then I'll know it's because she was just using me to get to my moms.

I regret my plan immediately though, because what if she _was_ using me this whole time? That'll hurt me so bad because I really, really, like her.

"Um…"

Oh no.

"Vega, I don't think it's a good idea for you to come to my house." She whispers. Her eyes are down on the ground and her face is slowly getting pinker and pinker.

"Why not?" I ask. I'm a little relieved because she hasn't totally backed out, but at the same time it sounds as if she's had her mind set on coming to my place. The question is, why?

"Because…um…"

Is she thinking up an excuse or something?

"Spit it out, Charlie," I snap, the Jade in me coming out and I fear I've scared her off. She'll probably never want to speak to me again. What the heck is wrong with me?

But then Charlie takes a deep breath and looks up, meeting my eyes. I love her eyes. They're green, the most vibrant shade I've ever seen. If I had only ever seen her picture in a magazine, I would've sworn they were photo shopped. "My brother kind of has a thing for you..."

_Wait, what?_

"And your mom…and your other mom too. It's so embarrassing. If you come over…." She shakes her head, like she doesn't even _want_ to imagine how awkward it would be for me to come over. "Isn't there someone you could get to chaperone us or whatever. Don't you have a grandparent, or a nanny, or, oh! What about your aunt! Didn't you tell me you had an aunt? Maybe you can ask her to come over!"

Her eyes are big and round, desperate even as she begs me to get my aunt Trina to babysit us. Normally, I'd punch anyone who suggests I need a babysitter. I'm fourteen, but I'm just so dang happy I couldn't care less. Charlie wants to spend time with me. Just _me_! It's totally obvious because no on in their right mind would want to meet Aunt Trina.

"Calm down, Charlie," I chuckle. "I'll see if I can get Momma to cancel her plans. You don't wanna meet my Aunt Trina. Trust me."

She breathes a huge sigh of relief before hugging me. I pull back immediately.

She doesn't look hurt or confused. She used to, but she's gotten used to me pulling away when she tries to hug me or something. I wish she hadn't. I wish I could just hug her like a normal girl hugs her friend, but I can't. I've got a slight problem.

Whenever I get too close to Charlie, my "problem" presents itself. There's this uncomfortable stretching…_down there_, and then bam! I've got a baby maker. Momma told me it was a preservation thing. It's so that no matter who I choose to be with, whether the person's male or female, I'll still be able to reproduce.

Obviously, that's how I got here. Both my moms are biologically my moms.

I'm so glad it worked out for them and all. I mean, they love each other so much. Well, there was the almost-divorce when I was eleven, but they worked it out. They worked it out so well that their vows have been renewed and I ended up with a brother and sister. But just because it worked out for them, doesn't mean it'll work out for me. Just because Mom understood Momma, doesn't mean Charlie will understand me. It doesn't mean she won't think I'm a freak.

So, I keep the touching and hugging down to a minimum. I don't want my problem to pop up and scare her away.

"Okay, I'll see ya tonight," she grins before rushing off. Probably so that I can't change my mind about her coming to my place.

That's when it hits me. Really, really, hits me. Charlie, the girl I'm in practically in love with, is coming to my place…tonight! And she's gonna be there…_all _night!

Holy shit!


	2. Chapter 2

"Momma!"

"Stop screaming at me!" my mom screams back at me, but I'm upstairs fixing myself up in the bathroom mirror and she's _downstairs_. How else is she supposed to hear me?"

"She'll be here in like ten minutes!" I scream, ignoring her warning.

No answer.

"Momma!"

Still no answer.

"MOMMA!"

Suddenly she's right behind me. I didn't even hear her come up here!

"I love you dearly baby girl, but if you scream at me one more time…."

I gulp and turn around to face her. She doesn't even need to finish that sentence. She's said enough.

"So, what do you want?" she questions, crossing her arms over her chest.

I blink at her. I kinda forgot.

She raises an eyebrow and then I remember. "Um, do you have the snacks and stuff ready?"

Her eyes narrow and she puts her hands on her hips.

What?

"_That's_ why you were screaming at me? Because you want me to have the "snacks and stuff"ready for you?"

Oh sure, when she says it like _that_.

"And _you_ can't get the "snacks and stuff"ready because…?" She continues.

"Because I'm getting _me _ready!" I snap back. Okay, usually I don't snap at Momma. She doesn't handle that kind of stuff very well, but she's picking on me and Charlie will be here _any _second! I don't have _time_ to be picked on!

"Jesus Vega! It's a sleepover, not a date!" Momma rolls her eyes at me.

"But it's my first sleepover!" I rebuttal immediately. Hopefully Momma doesn't notice the blush that's trying to creep its way onto my cheeks. I most definitely wishthis _was _a date.

Momma scoffs at me. "No it's not. You've been to plenty sleepovers."

"No I haven't."

"Yes you have."

"Name a time. And Aunt Trina or Cat's place don't count." I place my hands on my hip and wait for her answer. I know she's not going to be able to think up one. But she tries though.

"Let's see, there was the time…" She starts off confidently but then falters as she comes to realize that I'm telling the truth. "You're fourteen, why haven't you been to a sleepover yet?" She accuses like it's _my _fault.

The nerve.

And if I _was _going to answer such a ridiculous question, I would've been interrupted by the bell.

Charlie's here.

"Go answer the door, go answer the door." I squeak.

"Please?" I add on when that one eyebrow of Momma's lifts up automatically. I swear she doesn't even know she's doing it.

"No." She says. "I'm gonna start on dinner. _You_ get the door."

"Fine, I will" I glare at her. It's a _playful_ glare, but I still get a very loud smack to my rump when I pass by her. She smiles after me, letting me know it's a _playful_ smack, but it still stings like a bitch.

I'm still rubbing my fanny when I open the door for Charlie. She barges in, pushing me out of the way with a huge and _very _heavy overnight bag. I fall down, landing on my already stinging butt.

She doesn't even apologize. She slams the door shut, locks it, slides down until she's sitting down, then closes her eyes. I start to laugh at her.

"What the heck are you doing?"

She holds a finger up, asking for a moment, and I notice she's completely out of breath. "He's…he's out there." She pants.

"Who?" My eyes widen. Does she have a stalker or something?

"My brother. He drop…dropped me off."

Her brother? He's old enough to drive? I didn't know that. In fact, there are a lot of things about Charlie that I don't know.

"Vega!"

I groan out loud at the sound of either my brother or sister's voice. Hey, they're three. They sound the same.

"Vega, look what _I _got!"

I turn my head. It's Ayla, my sister, and she's showing me a half-eaten pretzel.

"That's great Ayla, now go show Aiden." I roll my eyes.

"Oh my gosh, she's so cute!" Charlie gasps, crawling up beside me.

"No, she's not." I disagree.

"Yes I am!" Ayla stomps her foot.

Okay, that was cute, but I don't want to deal with cute right now. I wanna spend time with Charlie. "Momma!" I scream as if she didn't yell at me for that just five minutes ago.

Momma comes to me, a huge scowl on her face. She wants to yell at me, I know it. But she's not gonna do it in front of Charlie.

"Can you get her?" I point at Ayla.

Pushing it. That's what the look Momma's giving me right now means. I just smile back before standing up. Charlie stands too, but not on her own. Without giving me any warning, she grabs my hand and hoists herself up. I nearly fall, but Charlie rights me with a slight push to my shoulder.

"It's nice to meet you, momz." Charlie says casually as she holds her hand out for Momma to shake.

"Cute." Momma says as she shakes Charlie's hand, though I'm pretty sure it was sarcasm. Then she grabs Ayla and takes her away.

Charlie whirls around and by the expression on her face I'm positive she's about to gush over either my sister or my mom.

"_Please_ tell me you have a PS3."

And I was wrong.

"Of course, why?" I ask. It's a stupid question. Why else would someone want to know why I have a PS3?

To play it, duh!

She grins at me and I stop listening to anything she says. I'm too busy staring at her mouth, wondering if her lips are as soft as they look.

"So, you wanna play or are you too afraid I'm gonna kick your butt?"

I blink a few times to focus. She's got an object (that I didn't see her get mind you) pushed up close to my face. Then I grin widely when I realize what it is. It's a game. Michael Jackson the experience. I have that one and I'm pretty darn good. I've never gotten five stars before, but I've gotten really close. I'm so gonna kick Charlie's ass.

I take her to the living room and show her the console. "You get it set up. I'll put your bag in my room." I tell her while reaching for it. When she gives it to me, my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. This thing is _heavy_. What the heck does she have in here?

I complain to myself the whole time I trudge the bag to my room. Then I set it down as close to the door as possible. I'm not gonna carry that thing for a _second _longer than I have to.

By the time I get back to the living room, Charlie's already picked out a song for us to do and everything. Thriller.

"Here." She says as she hands me one of the motion controllers. The top part of mine is glowing blue. Hers is green.

"You ready?" I ask her. "You can back out anytime, you know."

She laughs. "I'll be Michael. He's hard. You can be the zombies."

No she didn't. Telling me to be the zombies is like giving me training wheels while she rides a motorcycle. "No, we'll both be Michael." I decide.

She shrugs her shoulders in a way that lets me know she's nonverbally telling me to suit myself.

I'll show her.

But I don't. She beats me by nearly six hundred points. Why? Because I got distracted. Charlie can really move. I mean, no one can top Michael, but she most definitely nearly did the dance perfectly.

She smiles at me, this smug look on her face and I suddenly want to show her what_ I_ can do.

Because I can move too. And dang well if I do say so myself.

"You got lucky," I say. "Let's play again."

"Sure I did," she mumbles under her breath before picking a different song. Billie Jean. Yes! I can do that one with my eyes closed.

And apparently so can Charlie. It's close one, but I win this time. Not by a lot, but I still win. It's my turn to give her a smug smile.

She narrows her eyes at me.

Whoa. That's a different look.

I like it.

"Let's play again," she suggests. There's a bit of an edge to her voice and I can't believe I never noticed how competitive she is.

"Nope, it's time to eat."

Both me and Charlie turn around. Apparently Momma snuck up on us.

"Just one more momz, please." Charlie begs.

That's not gonna work.

"No."

And I was right.

"But it's the tie breaker. Please, please, please, please," Charlie begs some more.

"Fine. One more. That's it." Momma relents and I grin like an idiot. She must really like Charlie.

"Let's play Speed Demon." Charlie suggests.

"Ugh, I hate that one. Let's play smooth criminal."

"Nah, let's play"-

"How about this." Momma takes my controller away and selects the random option before leaving us alone. Neither one of us gets to choose the song. I guess that's a good idea.

In the Closet. That's the song "random" chose and I frown. "I've never played this one before."

"Really? You be the girl then. I'll be Michael. He's harder." She commands, trying to make this fair.

This time I agree. I have no idea how this one is gonna go. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

Once the song comes on, I see a girl and Michael. I focus on the girl. Her moves start off fairly easy, and somewhat…sensual. But it's the same move, over and over again for a good little while. Pretty soon I'm getting perfects. Then the music changes a little, announcing the end of the intro. Michael starts singing, but I ignore the lyrics. I'm focused on the girl. Copying her moves. Again, they're sensual, but very repetitive and easy to do. It's not long before I memorize her part. And once I've got it down, I'm able to pay attention to other things, like Michael's moves…and Charlie doing Michael's moves…and the lyrics…

Suddenly, I feel it. The stretching.

No, no, no. Not now!

My face turns red and I double over trying to hide the sudden bulge in my jeans.

"Vega? Are you okay?" Charlie asks and as much as I love her voice I wish she'd shut up. My…._thing_, does this little jump/throb thing at the sound of her voice.

Dang it, I've got it bad! Could I be any more pathetic?

"I don't feel so well." I manage to squeak out before running upstairs and into the bathroom. Once the door is shut and locked I relax.

It'll go down now. It always goes down when I distance myself from Charlie.

A few seconds roll by.

It doesn't go down.

Those few seconds turn into a minute.

It still doesn't go down.

When that minute stretches into _minutes_, as in plural, I start to panic. Why won't it go down!? Oh my God, what if it never goes down?

"Momma!" I scream.

"Stop screaming at me!" She screams back.

I ignore her and unlock the door. "MOMMA!"

Seconds later she charges into the bathroom.

"What did I just…" then she sees my problem and her eyes go round.

"SHIT, Vega!"

"I know!" I yell back.

{~~~O~~~}

**Author's note: **So, for those of you who actually want to _see_ the "In the Closet" dance you can actually youtube it. Just type in "In the Closet Michael Jackson the experience ps3" and it'll pop up;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **Thank you for all the reviews and PMs guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter too.

{~~~O~~~}

"You _like _her." Momma accuses, rather loudly if you ask me.

"Shh!" I hiss back.

But she doesn't hush. She gets even louder!

"Is this the first time _that _has happened?" She points at my pants.

I put a hand in front of me, like that'll cover the sucker up, and I shake my head. "No, it's not the first time. But it won't go down now… it always go down!" I panic.

"What do you mean it won't go down? Did you try"-

"Momz!" Charlie bangs on the bathroom door, interrupting a very crucial piece of advice that I desperately need. "You forgot to turn the hotdogs off, is Vega okay?" She asks, merging two sentences into one.

"Then turn them off!" Momma yells back.

"Is Vega okay?" Charlie asks again, ignoring my mom's command.

That Charlie is one brave soul. The thought makes my _thing _throb. Painfully.

"Turn the hotdogs off!" Momma screams.

"Okay, okay. How the heck do you burn hotdogs anyway?" Charlie mumbles, seemingly talking to herself, but she's loud enough for us to hear at the same time.

Momma tries to goes after her. And I understand why. No one talks to her that way, but I grab onto my mother's arm. I need her.

"Help me!" I whine.

Momma glances down at my jeans quickly before she averts her eyes. "Figure that shit out, bud." She says before turning to leave

She's got her hand on the door knob, about to leave, but then the door is suddenly opened.

I jump into the tub and pull the shower curtains closed.

"Vega, guess what _I_ got."

It's Ayla,_ again_.

"Get out of here , pre-terd!" I poke my head from behind the curtains and scream at her.

"Vega!" Momma yells back at me.

It's a warning. And I deserve it. I know I do. It's not nice to scream at little three year olds, but I _need_ Momma right now. Ayla and Aiden get her attention all the time. They're three and I expect them to be needy, so I don't complain. I can share, but _this_ is important. Ayla can give me this one little moment with our mother can't she? It's not like the lucky little terd is ever gonna go through this. She's Mom's egg, but not Momma's…uh seed. She'll _never_ have to grow a _thing_.

And I resent her for it.

"_Momma_, it hurts." I whisper pathetically.

She scratches the back of her neck and looks over my head. Then she turns to Ayla and sends her downstairs before shutting the door and facing me again. I notice her eyes are averted

She can't even look at me.

I bet she wishes I was normal like Ayla. I bet she wishes she didn't have a daughter she should have to explain this kind of stuff to.

"Just, play with it Vega." She sighs impatiently.

My face heats up. Play with it? I've never done that before. I realize it's_ my_ thing, but I've never had to touch it before. It always goes down on its own. Always.

"You want me to….to _masturbate _it," I squeak.

"Exactly." Momma groans before leaving me all alone in the bathroom. I hear her mutter, "Where the fuck is Tori when I need her," and my feelings get hurt.

She didn't say anything rude, but the fact that she feels she needs help to deal with me makes me feel…hurt. Momma's my bestie. I still love Mom, but me and Momma….we're closer. I can share anything with her. At least, I thought I could.

"Vega, you okay in there?" Charlie knocks on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute." I tell her.

"You sure?"

"Uh-huh."

I hear her walk away and I sigh. Then I pull my jeans down, preparing to "take care of it."

Here goes.

It takes all of thirty seconds for me to find release.

Pathetic.

And then I wish my hands, as well as certain spots on the shower curtain. You can say I made a bit of a mess; which was totally gross, but I feel much better now.

I hop down the stairs and join everyone in the kitchen. It's smoky as hell in here. Charlie wasn't kidding when she said Momma tried to burn the house down.

Momma's at the stove, trying to salvage whatever she can. Charlie's got an Aiden on her back and an Ayla on her front. I smile at her. I do that too sometimes.

She smiles back at me but I purposely miss it and give my attention to my mom.

"How'd you do _this_," I wave around, indicating the smoke, "by boiling hotdogs?"

Momma scowls, but doesn't turn around to look at me.

"Are you feeling better?" Charlie laughs.

I make the mistake of looking at her and my smile drains away.

That. Freaking. Smile.

"Uh-un." I shake my head and run back upstairs.

It takes me much longer to get my _thing _under control this time, but I learned how to not make such a big mess.

Yay me.

I run down the stairs again, once again making an entrance. Momma barely looks at me, which hurts me again, but I feel instantly better when Charlie runs up to me and grabs my hand.

"Finally, you're back. Now we get to eat these lovely black hotdogs Momz made for us." She says as she drags me into the kitchen.

"What'd you just say about my cooking?" Momma growls at her. She has no problem giving Charlie her attention.

I get a little jealous, but immediately push it away. It's not Charlie's fault I'm a freak.

"I love your cooking. Lemme get four hotdogs and two buns," is Charlie's answer to Momma.

"Four hotdogs?" I ask, snapping my attention her way.

"You sure you can eat four?" Momma asks while putting them on her plate.

"Please," Charlie waves her off. "By the time I peel off the black parts I'll have four halves. Four halves make two you know. I'm a genius with fractions."

I laugh at her.

Momma doesn't.

"Alright genius; if I cut a Charlie up into a million pieces what fraction of her do you think the police will be able to find in one night? A fifth…a tenth…a hundredth…or a millionth?"

"Momma!" I panic. I don't want her to scare Charlie off any more than I will by the end of the night.

But Charlie laughs at Momma and takes her plate to the dining room table. I do the same.

She peels her hotdogs like she said she would, and she puts two halves in each bun before pouring ketchup and mustard on them.

I only use the ketchup. So does Aiden. Wait, crap. I forgot my brother and sister.

"Vega, help Aiden. I got Ayla." Momma calls.

"I know, I'm coming!" I completely forgot about the little ones. Usually I help feed them, but tonight, well, my mind is elsewhere.

"I'll be right back." I tell Charlie. Then I go to the kitchen, grab Aiden by the hand, and put him in his booster seat so he can reach the table. The twins make less of a mess that way.

I sit back down next to Charlie and smile apologetically at her. She seems to understand because she shrugs her shoulders and takes a huge bite out of her hotdog. A bit of ketchup oozes out and slowly dribbles onto her cheek.

I sigh heavily, get up, quickly make my way to the bathroom, and sit on the toilet. Jeez, I might as well spend the rest of the night in here if stupid stuff like _that_ can make my thing jump.

There's a knock on the door a few minutes later and Momma tells me to let her in.

I open the door, and again, she doesn't make eye contact with me. "Vega, bud, you have a serious problem. This is your third time in here."

"I know, I'm sorry." I mumble miserably.

"Why are you sorry?"

I shrug and look down at the floor.

Momma puts a finger under my chin. I know it's because she wants me to look up at her, but I don't wanna. I keep my eyes down.

"Do you wish I was like Ayla?" I ask. I had no intention of doing so, but the question just came out.

"What does that even mean?" Momma tugs on my chin a little more, still trying to get me to look up at her.

I do it, but I don't necessarily look at _her. _My gaze has settled on her studded eyebrow.

"I mean, wouldn't this be easier for you if I didn't have a…problem?"

"What?"

I start to get frustrated. Momma's not stupid. She should've been able to pick up on what I'm implying by now.

"Ayla's never gonna have a thing like me." I start off, deciding to _completely_ break it down for Momma so she'll finally get what I'm asking.

"I know, poor kid. She's gonna miss out on a lot."

Huh? Poor kid? Miss out? Am_ I _missing something?

"Look, bud. It starts off awkward, but after a while, you get to see that there's nothing better than being able to…um…" she clears her throat. "What I meant was, it gets better. Much better."

There's a knock on the door and I swear silently. Why can't I have just a little time with my mother?

Momma cracks the door open a bit and I hear Charlie's voice. "Is Vega okay?" she asks, voice full of concern. I can't blame her. I keep going to the bathroom every five seconds.

"She's got diarrhea." Momma answers nonchalantly.

"Momma!"

"It doesn't smell like diarrhea" Charlie rebuttals immediately.

"How do you know her shit doesn't smell like roses?"

"_Nobody's_ shit smells like roses, Momz."

"Go babysit the twins. She'll be down in a few minutes."

"I charge twenty dollars an hour…"

Momma jumps at her and I expect to hear Charlie squeal and run away. But she doesn't.

"And that's _per_ kid. That makes forty an hour for you." Charlie finishes.

Oh, she's so brave and I know my thing likes that but there's no way I can do _that_ in front of my mom. I press my hands to the front of my jeans, attempting to keep my thing from stretching.

"Momma," I whine.

"I'm coming, baby." She gives me a quick glance and turns back to Charlie. "Seriously, watch the twins for a second. I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay." She agrees. No argument this time.

Once the door shuts, my mom faces me with a huge grin on her face. "I really like that kid. You did good, Vega."

"Yeah, well if I scare her off because I can't keep my _thing_ in my pants…"

Momma rolls her eyes as if I'm being a drama queen. "Look, the trick is to think of something you hate when you start to feel the stretching."

"Huh."

"For example, whenever Little Jade wants your Mom at an"-

"La, la, la..." I cover my ears and start singing. I'm not gonna listen to _that._

Momma uncovers my ears. "Listen, Vega. Whenever Little Jade wants your mom at an inappropriate time to have her, I just think of the color yellow, or bras that hook in the front, or, or panties." She shudders. She _really_ hates that word.

"Okay, okay I get it." I wave hands in front of my face to keep her from saying anything else weird. "Lemme think."

Let's see. Things I hate would be squirrels, wide ruled paper, roses that are painted unnatural colors, ice in my already cold soda, beets, God I really hate beets. They're like candied blood or something.

"So what are you gonna think about?" Momma asks, getting a little impatient with my silence.

"You!" I joke before pushing past her and running away.

I can hear her screaming behind me, telling me to come back to her. Of course I don't stop. I keep running. Because I'm smart.

Unfortunately it doesn't help. Momma catches me once I'm downstairs and tackles me to the ground. She's very gifted, because it doesn't hurt in the least. She could've been a professional wrestler.

"Say that again, I dare you." she growls as she tickles me all over.

"Stop!" I scream. I love being tickled, but I hate it at the same time. I always gotta wazz really bad afterward.

"Momma, I'm sorry!" I apologize when she keeps going despite my squirming and many protests.

"Tell me you love me," she commands, and I obey immediately.

"I love you!"

She doesn't stop.

"I don't believe you." She has to shout over my screams.

"I love you!" I shriek louder.

"Still don't"-

"I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST MOMMA IN THE WORLD!"

"Better." She grins and stops with the torture.

When she gets up off me, I don't even make an effort to get up as well. I'm too pooped. I stay on my back and close my eyes, trying to catch my breath back.

"My turn!" I hear Charlie shout before she takes Momma's place on top of me. I open my eyes and gasp. This is_ not _a good idea. I try to push her off but I can't. She's really strong.

Her hands go to my ribs and she starts the tickling.

Shit!

_Beets, beets, beets, beets, beets…._


	4. Chapter 4

"Charlie, stop molesting my baby!" Momma calls from the dining room.

Yeah, that's right. She's all the way in the freakin' dining room. The twins got her attention by screaming bloody murder at each other; so she left me here with a Charlie on top of me. You'd think she would've helped me first. You'd _think_.

"She's not a baby!" Charlie yells back before putting both hands on my chest. "She's got boobies!"

My eyes go wide. Charlie just grabbed my ta-tas! Oh my God, she just grabbed my ta-tas! As if I wasn't already having a hard enough time keeping my _thing_ down! Now she wants to go grabbing on my lady bits?!

_Beets, beets, beets…_ I continue to chant to myself. My voice is so loud in my head I'm afraid I'm gonna start talking about the nasty things out loud.

I swipe at Charlie's hands, and they move…they just move _downward_. She's taken to tickling me again.

I hold my breath, squirm and concentrate on beets, but I can feel it coming. The stretching. Beets aren't strong enough for this! How can they not be strong enough? I don't think there's anything in the world I hate more than that stuff.

My thing's peaking. Not enough for Charlie to feel, but it's enough to make me panic. I try to think of beets in a more tangible way, like the smell, the taste, _everything_. But it's still not working. I have to find something I hate more than beets.

Think Vega think. What do I hate more than beets? There's got to be _something_!

Then it comes to me. When I was eleven, my mothers split up. They were on their way to a divorce. I lived with Mom, and I only got to see my Momma every other weekend. I hated that. I hated that more than anything I've ever hated before in my life.

My thing goes down as I start to relive the fear that had been the possibility of my family being destroyed forever.

That's when Momma rescues me, right when I don't need her anymore.

Go figure.

"Charlie, get off." She yells as wraps her arm around Charlie's middle and pulls. "Vega's Mom wants to talk to her."

"Ok." I get up and practically run to my momma's laptop without giving Charlie so much as a backwards glance. I know Momma's got the video chat set up. That's how I always talk to Mom when she's on tour.

"No more molesting my baby, got it?" I hear Momma tell Charlie before I'm out of earshot.

I can feel the tips of my ears burning. I really wish she would stop saying that!

When I get to the den, I roll my eyes a bit. Ayla and Aiden are already here and I know the conversation between them and Mom is nothing short of boring and one-sided. I mean, they're _three_.

Aiden doesn't say much. He'd rather play with his toys than to talk to his mom through the "TV" as they calls it. And Ayla keeps telling mom to come out of the TV so she can give her a big hug.

"Alright you two, my turn." I say, my way of sending them away.

Aiden doesn't have to be told twice. He runs away as fast as his little legs can carry him.

Ayla, on the other hand, has to be told a million times by both me _and_ Mom before she stops with the stubborn pouting and gives Mom a kiss by slobbering all over the screen.

Gross.

"Go play with Charlie." I tell her as I help her out of the chair. My sister grins and runs away to find Charlie immediately. She seems to really like her, which is understandable. I feel the same way.

"Hey mom," I say as casually as I can once it's just me and her. Though I _do _know there's absolutely no way Momma didn't tell her about my "problem" already.

"So," she smiles at me, waiting for me to pick up where she left off.

As if!

"Yeah?" I ask. I feign a bit of cluelessness, hoping she'll get the hint and not pursue the matter.

No such luck.

"How's your sleepover going?" she asks with a grin so wide she looks like one of those sock puppets the twins watch in the morning.

"Good." I shrug.

"Just good?" she inquires disbelievingly.

If she thinks I'm going to willingly spill the beans, I'm going to seriously question whether or not this woman loves me. She can't _not_ know me and still claim to love me, right?

"Yep." I answer, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest.

"So what's your friend like?"

"Nice."

_Kind of._

"Is she enjoying herself?"

Yes."

_I think._

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"A little."

_Too much._

"I'm not gonna get anything out of _you_ am I?" She sighs.

I narrow my eyes. The way she emphasized the "you." Not good.

"What are you talking about?" I ask suspiciously.

"Tell her to come here." She answers.

My eyes widen. Hell no!

"Just real quick, please." She pouts when she sees the look on my face.

"No."

"Come on Vega, I wanna meet her." My mom presses even more.

"No way." I shake my head back and forth.

"But Jade got to meet her."

"_Mom._" I roll my eyes. What is she, like five?

"I know," Mom sighs. "You like Jade more than me. You always have." She adds that part on quietly, with the smallest promise of tears to come.

Guilt trip. Ugh, I hate those things!

"Fine." I relent. "Charlie!"

"Yeah!" She yells back.

"Come here. My mom wants to meet you!" I scowl at Mom as I say this. She's got the cheesiest grin on her face. How can she live with herself, knowing she manipulated her baby like that?

"Hello?"

I turn around and see Charlie. She's got her phone to her ear, and she's walking toward me slowly. I don't know why, but I keep expecting her to make a big deal out of things. I mean, I'm about to introduce her to TORI. I expected her to come running so fast that she literally has to skid to a stop in front of me.

But she doesn't.

When she reaches me, she puts a finger to her lips, the universal sign to shut the heck up. "No, she's in the bathroom." She says into her phone.

I frown. Who is she talking to? "Who's in the bath-

Her eyes go wide and she covers my mouth with her hand.

Oops.

"No, that was the TV." She pauses and rolls her eyes. "I don't know. I gotta go. I'll call you back!"

She sends me a quick glare before plopping down in the seat next to me and giving the laptop her attention.

"Hello, you must be Charlie," Mom smiles.

"Hey momz, nice to meet you." Charlie says politely before shooting another glare my way.

Okay, that's enough. "What?" I hiss back at her.

"Nothing." She snaps.

"It's not nothing." I scowl.

She turns her body towards me, giving me her full attention. "The next time I'm on the phone with my brother, try not to say anything. I can't convince him you're not around if you're _talking_."

"How was I supposed to know who you were talking to?" I snap back.

"You didn't have to. I told you to be quiet."

"I don't have to listen to you!"

My mom starts laughing, completely interrupting us and stopping our fight. I was supposed to be letting Mom meet Charlie and catching up with my mom, but instead, I completely forgot she was even present!

That's so rude. It's not like I get to see her in person for a few more weeks. The least I can do is give her my undivided attention when she actually _does_ have the time to spare for me.

Charlie's phone rings and she looks down at the screen briefly before jumping up and saying, "Crap, crap, crap. It's him again."

Then she glares at me, _again_, before excusing herself and running away

"She's a cutie." my mom says as soon as Charlie's gone.

My eyes widen. "Mom!"

"I can see why you like her," She continues. "Are you still having problems with your "little Vega"?"

"_Mom!_" I snap, my whole face turning red. This is so embarrassing.

She could care less if I'm embarrassed though. She's waiting for an answer.

"No," I whisper. "It's fine now. I got it under control."

"That's good." She smiles. "Now, gimme a kiss. I gotta go."

I frown at her. I will do no such thing. I mean, normally I'm not above kissing the screen on my momma's laptop; but Ayla just slobbered all over it.

I shake my head. "Ayla slobbered on the screen. I'll kiss you when you come home. A _real_ kiss." I negotiate.

"What if I don't come home?"

"Huh?"

"What if I get in a car accident, or a plane crash? Think of how troubled you'd be knowing you didn't kiss your mom goodbye, Vega."

Guilt trip.

That's okay, I got something for that.

"_Mooommyyyy_," I cry, putting an emphasis on the name I haven't called her since I was the twins' age. "I love you so much; and if you died before I got to see you again I'd never be right in the head again, but please,_ please_, don't make me kiss Ayla's spit," I beg, interlacing my fingers together in a prayer-like fashion.

She's buying it. I can tell. Her eyes start to water and she puts a hand to her chest. Hm, I wonder if calling her Mommy instead of Mom can get me out of trouble sometimes.

"I love you too, baby." She whispers.

Damn. Guilt trip again.

This time it's my own fault. I tried to manipulate my mother, and now I feel like maybe playing with her emotions is a bit evil. She really is a good person.

She leans forward a little and I know she's about to exit out, but I can't let her go yet. "Mom, wait!"

She blinks, confused and a bit startled by my sudden outburst. But she's not gone. She pulls back, waiting for me even though she's super busy.

Because I'm important to her.

"Can…can I have a kiss before you go?"

The smile she gives me is blinding and I can't help but to smile back before pressing my lips to the screen just as she does the same on her end.

Yeah, I just kissed Ayla's spit. But my mom…I wanted to show her that she's important to me too.

I do, however, wipe my mouth vigorously once she's gone.

I head out, searching for Charlie. I feel bad. She's my guest and it seems as though we've spent more time apart than together.

She's in the living room, crawling around with Ayla and Aiden. I have no idea what the heck they're playing. Charlie probably doesn't know either as she's _still _on the phone with her brother. "She's not here, she's on tour. You _know _that." She says with a roll of her eyes.

Must be talking about my mom.

"She's still in the bathroom." She says next.

I roll my eyes. Her brother is gonna think I'm taking a massive dump.

Charlie looks up and sees me. "Bye Ross." She says, ending her conversation with her brother; whose name is apparently Ross. Ross Lynch if he and Charlie share the same last name. Not all siblings do….wait, Ross _Lynch_?

"Your brother's Ross Lynch." I blurt out.

"Huh?" Charlie gives me the cutest confused expression on the planet, but I'm not to be deterred by her cuteness.

"Ross Lynch, from Austin and Ally? I press.

"Oh, yeah." She shrugs, like it's no big deal.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked."

She's right, I never asked.

"Don't tell me you like him." She rolls her eyes. "If you two started dating"-

"Nah, I'm gay." I cut in.

My eyes go wide. Why did I say that?! I did _not _mean to say that! I just…I didn't want her to think I'd suddenly want to hang out with her just to get to meet him…

Sort of like the way I keep expecting her to find my parents more fascinating than me.

Charlie doesn't so much as frown at me when she hears the g-word come out of my mouth. She just shakes her head and says, "Even if I tell _him_ that, he wouldn't care. He still likes your moms."

What? That's it? She's not gonna start feeling weird around me, questioning every look I've ever given her? Regret any time she's tried to hug me, or even the fact that she just grabbed my ta-tas not even a full hour ago?

"Vega, Charlie, come help clean up!" Momma yells from the kitchen.

Charlie sighs deeply before stomping toward the kitchen with me right behind her. She looks Momma right in the eyes and places her hands on her hips.

Oh no. She's so feisty. My thing really likes that.

Now to concentrate on things I hate. Like Squirrels, I hate those things. The way they scamper about; and they're so noisy when they do it.

"Have you ever had a guest before?" Charlie demands.

"Charlie…" Momma growls out a warning. And I know Charlie isn't gonna take a hint.

Okay time to amp it up to wide ruled paper. I hate it. There's just so much freakin' space.

"I'm just saying, you're supposed to wait until I've been here a bunch of times to make me start cleaning up," she says; and the only thing saving her from Momma's wrath is the fact that we_ are_ cleaning up despite the fact that Charlie's arguing about it.

"Well, I figure you just made yourself so darn comfortable I might as well treat you like family." Momma says in the sweet voice that's really not so sweet.

Charlie opens her mouth to rebuttal and I switch to the stupid roses. Black ones, blue ones, green ones, purple ones…they all make me sick. Why color a flower? It's a flower!

"Vega, you okay?" I blink as I feel a warm hand on my forehead, Charlie's warm hand.

Peak.

_Crap! Time to pull out the big guns. Beets, beets, beets, beets…_

There. That did it. All's tucked down and under.

"Vega?" Charlie frowns.

I shake my head a little, clearing my thoughts and focusing on the girl in front of me. "What?" I answer her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking." I'm careful to be as casual sounding as possible because I know Momma's watching me.

"Thinking about what?"

"What we're gonna wear for picture day tomorrow." I make up on the spot.

Damn I'm good.

"Oh, did you come up with anything?"

"Uh…No." Okay, so I'm maybe not _that _good.

"I got stuff in my bag; we can go figure something out." Charlie shrugs. "But that's only if Mommie Dearest will excuse us."

Momma's eyes widen.

"Run!" I scream.

Now there's no escaping Momma if she wants to get you, but lucky for us, Aiden fell down and needs her sweet talking. But we still run. Fast. All the way to my room and shut the door. I end up tripping over Charlie's bag, the one I was too lazy to put _all _the way in my room.

Charlie laughs and helps me up.

I laugh too. I mean, it was my own fault. I shouldn't have left her bag in the way like that.

I help her put the bag on my bed and she opens it up and starts pulling out all kinds of stuff. Make up, hair stuff, clothes…

No wonder that sucker was so heavy!

Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, she takes off her shirt and puts another on.

"What do you think of this top?" she asks.

What do I think? I think I just saw Charlie with her shirt off.

"No?" she asks, taking whatever expression on my face as a sign that I don't like what I'm seeing. And because I seem to not like what I'm seeing, she takes her shirt off, _again_, and tries another.

My jaw hits the ground and I start to have an excruciatingly hard time swallowing. I realize I've seen girls with their shirts off before. I have to change in front of a bunch them in the girls' locker room after gym; but they're just girls. _This_ is Charlie. Charlie! And she's modeling for me. Beets can't save me from this! Not even my parents' almost divorce can.

"How about this shirt with this skirt," she asks as she casually shimmies out of her jeans so she can try on said skirt.

I run to the bathroom. My safe haven.

"Momz!" I hear Charlie yell from outside the door

"Stop screaming at me!"

"Vega's in the bathroom again!"

Tattle teller.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you gonna participate at all? Or are you planning on making me do _all_ the work?" Charlie snaps at me.

I can't blame her. I've been lying on my stomach and flipping through teen magazines while she does all the trying on of the clothes and such.

It's Momma's fault, not mine. She's the one who told me to do it. But I have to admit that it's helping. A lot. I mean, it doesn't keep my thing down, but it _does_ keep it from being seen; which means I haven't had to lock myself in the bathroom, not even once, since Charlie first stripped in front of me.

"I _am_ helping. I'm trying to get ideas from these." I say, gesturing toward the current magazine I'm looking through for emphasis.

"That's not"-

Whatever her retaliation was going to be gets cut off when Momma opens my door. "Knock, knock." She says.

"You're supposed to knock _before _you open the door." Me and Charlie say at the same time. Then we look at each other and laugh. That was a good one.

Momma rolls her eyes. Apparently it wasn't as funny to her as it was to us. "Bed time." She claims.

Both of our faces drop, but only Charlie's brave enough to state the obvious.

"It's a sleepover. There's no such _thing_ as a bedtime."

"Tomorrow's still a school day." Momma glares at Charlie and walks further into my room before picking up Charlie's sleeping bag and laying it out on the floor. "Bedtime." She says again, just in case Charlie didn't catch on.

"But we didn't finish picking out our outfit." I whine, sounding totally like Mom. I hate it when I do that. Momma always teases me about it.

Not this time though.

"Guess you're just gonna have to wake up early," Momma shrugs.

"Okay." Charlie agrees while pulling out her phone and PJs.

What? No more arguments?

"Okay?" Momma narrows her eyes suspiciously. Apparently Charlie's lack of argument was just as fishy to her as it was to me.

"Yeah, I'm setting my alarm for one o'clock." She answers.

"A.M.?"

"It's technically early in the morning," Charlie shrugs.

I face palm. It's already eleven something, so basically her alarm will go off in less than two hours from now.

Charlie has a death wish.

And Momma looks just about ready to grant said wish as she grabs a hold of Charlie's wrist. "Alright, let's go. I'm putting you in a separate room." She mutters.

"No!" Charlie protests and before Momma can pull her away, she snatches her arm out of Momma's grasp. "What about four?" She pleads.

Momma thinks it over for a second before agreeing. "Four. Now bed."

Then she comes over to me and offers to tuck me in. Okay, that's embarrassing. I haven't been tucked in since I was like ten, but I understand Momma's asking if I need her to block me so I can get under my blankets without Charlie seeing my thing.

"No. I'm good." I shake my head. My thing's tucked in. Has been for about an hour now, thank God!

"Night Momma." I call as she's leaving.

"Night baby."

"Night Momz."

Momma turns around and narrows her eyes at Charlie before responding with a simple, "You."

Instead of being offended, Charlie laughs. And I can't help but to laugh too, but I do so quietly as Momma's still within hearing distance and I _don't_ have a death wish.

Once she's _gone_, gone, I settle down and close my eyes. "Night Charlie." I mumble with a wide yawn. I won't ever admit it out loud, but I'm glad Momma made us go to bed. I'm just now realizing how tired I am.

I feel my bed dip beside me and the words "night Vega" are whispered into my ear. My eyes spring open. I'm no longer sleepy. Charlie's in bed with me. In _bed _with me!

No good can come of this!

I turn over and push at her. "You can't sleep with me." I hiss

"Why not?" She frowns as she catches my hands in hers to keep me from pushing her again.

That's not good either. Who knows how my thing will respond to handholding with Charlie… even if it _is_ accidental.

"What do you mean, why not?" I try snatching my hands out of her grasp, but she's so dang strong.

"I mean, what I said. _Why_ not? What's the big deal? Girls sleep in bed with their friends all the time. It's totally okay."

No, no, no. It's not _totally_ o-flippin'-kay!

I push at her some more and I can see Charlie snap. Like, I _see_ it happen, and it kind of scares me. Now, I've seen her angry before, but she's never been mad at me. _Never._

Her eyes widen. Her nose flares. And she inhales sharply before rolling over on top of me so fast I barely have time to blink. And not only is she on top of me, but she's got my wrists pinned down right beside my ears.

"I'm trying to be your friend but you keep pushing me away, Vega. Why?" She glares down at me.

Oh God, don't let her say pushing again. Not while she's on top of me.

"Don't you want to be my friend too?" she questions further.

"No!" I squirm. And it's true. I've tried to be her friend. I really, really have; but I'm realizing that it's just not gonna work. I can't be normal around her. I can't be her _friend_.

"Why not?" She glares some more.

I tremble a bit. It's such a fierce gaze. But jeez and Steve, she can't _make_ me be her friend!

"Why not, Vega?" She grinds out through clenched teeth.

"I like you." I admit.

Oops! I had no intention of doing that. Like none whatsoever, but now that I have, maybe it'll be a good thing. Maybe she'll get spooked and get off of me.

"I like you too, stupid." Charlie hisses back at me.

Ugh! She's not getting it.

"I don't _just _want to be your friend." I elaborate.

"Okay, so?"

Oh crud, she's _still_ not getting it!

"I'm gay!" I blurt out. Crap, I really gotta stop saying that.

"So am I, so what's the problem?"

What? Charlie's…Does that mean…no, it can't. I'm just so confused…

But my thing isn't. I can feel it coming. The stretching. And I'm in too much of a panic to concentrate on how much I hate beets.

"Get off of me!" I hiss, squirming wildly.

It's not enough to buck Charlie off. She must've been a professional bull rider before I met her.

"No, not until you tell me why we can't be friends." she persists.

Ugh, Fine!

"I'm gay _and_ I like you!"

"Girlfriends then." She fires back immediately.

And just like that, I lose control. My thing sits straight up and pokes the hell out of Charlie.

Shit!

Her eyes go wide and she looks down.

Oh God, I'm so dead. I'm so, _so_ freak-in' dead.

"You have one too?" she whispers, letting go of my wrists.

I sit up. "Charlie, I'm sorry. I can…"

Wait…what? Did I just hear….Did she just say, "you have one _too_?" What the hell is she talking about? She can't seriously be implying…no. no way. There's no effing way.

Charlie laughs and climbs out of my lap. "No _wonder _you kept going to the bathroom! Did it just start?"

"Whuh?" It's the only thing I can get my mouth to say. I think my brain short circuited.

She continues to talk as if I had answered her question; as if I'm not staring at her with my mouth hanging open. "Mine started last year when I first met you. I'm just now able to keep it down." She chuckles a little more. "I guess I shouldn't have dressed in front of you, or grabbed your ta-tas, or made you do that one song on the Michael- Hey!" Her eyes go bright with excitement. "I know who we can be for picture day tomorrow! Michael and Naomi." She finishes.

"Whuh?" I blink at her, still unable to say anything intelligible. Still unable to _process_ what I'm hearing.

"Come on! It's perfect! It'll be like our own little inside joke. The first time I made you stretch during our sleepover!" she winks.

My eyes go even wider. How can she be so…so…okay about this! This…this…isn't _normal_.

"Oh, but I get to be Michael. You have to dress like Naomi."

That snaps me out of my stupor. I want to be Michael. I'm always Michael when I play. Not just because he's the star… okay, it's totally because he's the star. "No I'm Michael. I look more like him 'cause I've got the dark hair." I reason.

She smiles, more than likely she's relieved because I'm finally using actual words and stuff.

"Yeah, well I've got the bigger thing." She glances down at my front and my thing shrinks down into its hiding place. I guess it doesn't like to be compared to other things.

It occurs to me that I should still be embarrassed, but I don't know, my competitive side is coming out.

"Prove it." I challenge, crossing my arms over my chest. Hey, if we're determining who gets to be Michael by whoever has the biggest thing, then it's only fair I get to see my competition, right?

"No way!" Charlie rolls her eyes.

"Then how do I know if yours is really bigger." I frown.

"Guess you're just gonna have to trust me."

There's no way I'm going to just trust her word for it!

"Lemme see!" I command, attacking her.

"Stop! Vega!" She laughs at me when I manage to pin her down just the way she had me pinned down earlier.

"Shh!" I hiss and cover her mouth with my hand. I have no idea why, but this makes her laugh even harder. So hard that tears are starting to leak out of the corners of her eyes.

This is good for me. While she's laughing, she's not putting up very much of a struggle. I grab a hold of the drawstrings on her pajama bottoms and pull.

Suddenly, my light is flicked on. And the sudden brightness practically burns my eyes.

"I thought I told you two to go to…"

I blink a few times before setting my sights on my doorway…where my momma is standing. And she does _not_ look happy.

Shit.

"Vega, what'd I tell you about raping our guests." She says in a voice so calm and dispassionate that it sends shivers up my spine. But that's the only movement I make. That involuntary one, because I'm frozen.

She's gonna kill me.

Momma walks into the room and still I don't move. _Charlie _doesn't even move. That's how scary she looks.

"Get off." Momma says to me and I look down. I'm still on top of Charlie, I still have a hand over her mouth, and she still has tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

This looks soo bad.

I uncover Charlie's mouth immediately and roll off of her. "Momma I wasn't gonna"-

"Shut up."

"I was just trying to"-

"Not another word, Vega Zofia Cielo West."

Oh God, my _whole _name? There's no way to get out of this alive. And it really is all my fault. I mean, what was I thinking? It's not like Charlie was peaking! What was I gonna do,_ make _her thing come out? And how was I gonna do that? By molesting her? I _am _like a rapist!

"Are you okay, Charlie?" Momma asks. Her voice is soft and full of concern. It sounds so weird being directed at Charlie.

Charlie looks from me to Momma. "I bet it's you who's got the thing, right Momz?" she grins cheekily.

"Charlie!" I gasp.

Momma's face goes from concerned to confused in a nanosecond. "Vega…" She turns her attention on to me and I know she wants me to explain what on earth is going on.

"Um, she's got one too. A um, A _thing_…like us." I start off. "She said hers was bigger than mine and I wanted to see, that's all. I wasn't gonna…we weren't doing anything." I promise.

"Don't tell my business!" Charlie playfully glares at me. "Especially to Momz. Now Little Charlie will never come out again, probably too scared Momz will chop her off. "Aren't you?" she asks the front of her pants.

"Don't _do_ stuff like that!" I groan.

"This can't be fucking happening to me." Momma pinches the bridge of her nose, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "What are the fucking chances? What… are the _fucking_… chances?"

"It's fate!" Charlie grins.

Momma eyes pop open. "You two are sleeping in separate bedrooms."

Charlie's eyes widen and she grabs a hold of me around the middle. Tightly. "No!" She yells.

"Yes!" Momma yells back as she grabs on to Charlie and starts to pull.

She ends up pulling both of us off of the bed, which hurt a whole lot. I hit my head; lose a few million brain cells, but do you think Momma stops. No. She doesn't. She just keeps pulling on Charlie, and Charlie keep pulling on me, and I get the privilege of collecting the most painful rug burns I've ever had in my life!

"Momma, Charlie, ow!" I protest.

"Stop Momz, you're hurting Vega!"

"There's no way you're sleeping with my baby!" Momma growls, tugging even harder.

"Ow!" I cry.

"I won't! I'll sleep in my sleeping bag!" Charlie ignores me and addresses my mother.

"No. Let go!" Momma yanks and Charlie doesn't surrender and I get a new burn from it.

"Momma, Ow!" I howl.

"But I can't sleep alone. I'm scared of the dark!" Charlie wails, the last part of that is a bit muffled because she's got her face pressed into my stomach.

"Too bad!"

"Please!"

"Nope." Momma grunts before giving another painful tug.

"Momma, stop, please! Just let her stay!" I can't help but to protest and then I give her the face. The Vega face. The one she can't resist. Mom taught it to me and she made me promise to only use it for emergencies. Like self-preservation type emergencies.

"Fine!" Momma relents, letting Charlie go. "No shenanigans!"

Charlie barely hears her. She all but dives into her sleeping bag. There's no talking back or anything, just a loud sob of relief.

I hop into my bed and get under my blankets. I don't even make a show of checking out my burns.

Momma nods her head in approval before leaving, buts she keeps the door open. And me and Charlie both know what for.

About ten minutes roll by and I'm nearly asleep when Charlie climbs back in bed with me.

Seriously? I really think the girl wants to die.

"Night Vega." She tells me. I nearly push her out but she just turns over away from me. No funny business. She's really going to sleep.

"Charlie?" I shake her shoulder a bit.

"Hm?"

"Are you _really_ afraid of the dark?"

"Nope!" She says in a way that leaves me no doubt that she's grinning from ear to ear.

Un-freakin-believable she is. Just unbelievable.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: **Thank you guys for the awesome feedback you've been giving me! It really makes my day….or night. Whatever;)

{~~~O~~~}

I'm having a very weird dream. So weird that I _know_ I'm dreaming. I gotta be. I mean, me and Michael Jackson are in a hot air balloon, just chillin,' and out of nowhere a helicopter appears. Like, it's gonna run into our balloon, shred it up, and we, me and Michael, are gonna _die_.

We start screaming. Michael's voice is higher than mine by about three octaves, but I can't even find it funny because…I'm about to die. Then the copter comes to a complete stop just _seconds _before crashing into us.

And that's not even the weirdest part. Charlie's hanging out the door of the copter and making this really loud siren sound. It's really aggravating actually, it kind of sounds like an –

Crap! My eyes pop open and I sit up straight. It's the alarm on Charlie's phone that's going off. It's time to wake up.

Ugh. It's four in the morning. I don't _wanna_ get up. But I gotta. _We _gotta, because we have to get ready for picture day, and it's gonna take all of three hours to do so. Maybe even a little more than that.

"Vega, I'm trying to sleep!" Momma screams at me from her bedroom.

I jump a little. She must've been awakened by the alarm. I never wake Momma up unless it's an emergency. She's crazy cranky when her snooze time gets interrupted.

I glare at Charlie's sleeping form. She's on her stomach, facing me; I can barely see her face because it's so dark in here, but I still glare at her anyway. If the alarm is loud enough to for Momma to hear in her bedroom then why the heck is Charlie still sleeping?

"Charlie," I hiss while shaking her shoulder.

She doesn't budge. She doesn't even make a face _indicating_ that I've disrupted her sleep. No low moans, no twitch of her nose, no soft snorts. Nothing! Jeez and Steve she sleeps like the dead.

I'm _so_ gonna tell her she snores when she wakes up.

Yeah, I'm passive aggressive.

"Vega Zofia!" Momma shouts; and I really can't blame her. The alarm's still going off.

I sigh deeply and reach over Charlie to turn off the screaming phone on my nightstand.

Crap. I kinda wasn't thinking when I did that. If I had been, I would've realized that my ta-tas were gonna be resting on her back for a brief moment.

Not that Charlie cared. She slept through it; which is fine by me.

"Wake up, Charlie." I shake on her shoulder some more.

"No" she mumbles; then she turns over on her side, showing her back to me.

_Finally_, some kind of response! Just not the _right _kind of response.

I shake her again, harder this time because I'm definitely losing my patience. "Charlie, wake _up_."

"No." she repeats.

That's it.

I lean over her and brace my palm against my bed, right by her stomach. I have her trapped between my right arm and my body. Then I lean in close to her ear, my lips close enough to touch it if she so much as moves an inch. "Charlie, get up before I do something you won't like!" I hiss; the Jade in me coming out.

"Fine, I gotta wazz anyway." She grumbles without opening her eyes.

She rolls over, catching me by surprise when she pushes me on my back before climbing over me and out of my bed; which is completely retarded on my part because she's not moving very fast.

I could've pushed back. I could've prevented that from happening, so it was my own fault.

Still, I think I have a legit excuse for freezing up. Her thing touched me. It totally, it was just…Oh my god, I felt it! And she was right! So, _so_, right.

It's bigger than mine.

Dang it! She gets to be Michael Jackson.

I'm about to go into full pout mode when Charlie walks into my door.

I guess that's my cue to turn the lights on. I spring out of bed to do so and once my lights are on, I'm up. Like, _up_. Awake and alert as hell.

Charlie on the other hand, covers both her eyes, whimpers a pathetic, "No." and drops down into a heap on my floor, burying her head inside her pajama top.

I roll my eyes at her. She's worse than Ayla, Aiden _and_ Momma combined.

I go to her and squat down in front of her. "Charlie"-

"No."

This is not cute.

I put my hands in her shirt and pull out her head. "Get your ass up!"

"Don't wanna," she wines, letting her head fall back like a spoiled brat. I get a little more irritated with her, but then she sighs and holds her arms out to me. I can't help the smile that finds its way onto my face.

I hook my arms under her pits and hoist her up. Once she's up, I turn her a bit so I can guide her to the bathroom. With all the hoopla I'm surprised I even remember that that's where she was initially trying to go.

"Okay Charlie, we're in the bathroom." I practically sing as I turn on the light. Charlie flinches and buries her face in my neck.

"You can't wazz with the light off. It's bad luck." I lie as I walk her over to the seat. She'll wake up faster if she could just get used to the light.

She takes her face out of my neck. "Fine. Put it down for me."

"Put what down?" I frown back at her.

"The seat."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Too much work." She slurs back.

I roll my eyes and put the stupid seat down. Then I try unlatching myself from Charlie's side.

She doesn't let me.

"Wait, wait, wait," she pleads, tightening her hold on me.

"What?"

"My pants."

My eyes narrow suspiciously. "What about your pants?"

"Untie 'em for me.'

Has she lost her mind!? If I undress her, my thing'll wake up so fast I won't even have the time to utter the "b" in beets. "No, Charlie. Do it yourself."

"Fine I'll just pee in my pants then." She yawns, plopping herself down onto the toilet.

Ugh, fine!

I yank her up and pull both her pants and her underoos down before letting her plop back down onto the toilet. I did it so fast I had no time to be embarrassed or to get a good look at her; so there's no blushing or stretching on my end. Speaking of stretching…

"I'm not tucking it in for you!" I announce before walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

I wait nearly ten minutes for Charlie to come out of the bathroom. Well, I try to anyway. She's taking forever and I gotta wazz too.

I knock on the door softly.

No answer.

I knock again. There's still no answer so I open the door and there she is, asleep on the toilet. I roll my eyes at her. Early morning Charlie is so dang dysfunctional. I'm no longer surprised she needed me to pull her bottoms down for her.

I walk up to her, shutting the door behind me and I put a hand on her shoulder. "Charlie, wake up." I shake her gently.

"No." she pouts childishly.

Fine. I grab Ayla's shampoo rinse cup, fill it with cold water, and dump it in Charlie's lap.

She shudders and opens her eyes slowly. It takes her a bit of time for her eyes to focus on me, but when she does I feel so, so, guilty. She looks like a lost newborn puppy. With the huge watering eyes and the pouty lips and, and, then she _speaks_. She whines out this heart-broken, "Vega, why'd you do that?" and I just wanna give her a hug and promise to never do it again.

But I don't.

"To wake you up. Now get up!" I pull her up off the toilet, hoping she already did her stuff. "I gotta wazz and take a shower." I grunt and pull her over to the sink before making her wash her hands. "You have to shower too. Oh, and brush your teeth. Now stop wasting time!" I command, pushing her out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

I wazz and get in the shower quickly; lord knows I wasted enough tine messing around with Charlie. I don't lock the door because it's not habit; but when I hear the sink turn on again, I freak a little. I peek around the curtain and Charlie's brushing her teeth…while I'm in the shower. Really?

"Charlie"-

"No." She mumbles irritably.

No? No what? She doesn't even know what I was about to say.

I squint a little, trying to get a better look at her. Then I roll my eyes and go back to my shower. Charlie's practically asleep again. It's like she's on autopilot. It's too bad she hasn't subconsciously learned how to keep the toothpaste _exclusively_ in her mouth.

Gross.

"Is Vega in here with you!"

I shriek when I hear Momma's voice, involuntarily answering her question. I had no idea she was in here. She didn't even knock! Not that I would've been able to hide Charlie anyway. But still…

"Give a girl a little warning. I'm too young for heart attacks, Momma!" I poke my head out, hiding the rest of my body by the curtain.

Momma walks over and stands eye to eye with me. "Why's she in here with you?"

"She's brushing her teeth."

"Why's she brushing her teeth right now, while you're in the bathroom? Naked." She hisses back.

"_Momma._" I groan. Did she have to say the naked part? I nearly forgot that. Well, I didn't _forget, _forget_._ How could I? But me being naked doesn't seem like such a big thing while Charlie's two winks away from a snooze. _And_ I haven't felt the stretch yet, so I guess my thing doesn't find morning Charlie all that enticing. In my book, that makes me safer now, even naked, than when I'm fully clothed and Charlie does something my thing likes…which is just about anything.

"Killing two birds with one stone Mrs. West." Charlie yawns.

Momma whips her head around, scrutinizing Charlie. And with good reason too. Charlie hasn't called Momma Mrs. West since she got here. It was Momz from the start.

"What are you up to?" Momma asks suspiciously.

"Nothing." Charlie shrugs before putting her head in the sink and resting it there.

If she goes back to sleep, I swear...

"Charlie." Momma calls.

"Ma'am?" Charlie mumbles, pulling her head out of the sink.

"Did you really just call me ma'am?"

Charlie's only response is a few disoriented blinks. She really _is_ the most dysfunctional morning person I've ever come across.

"What's _wrong _with you?" Momma snaps.

"Sleepy." Charlie rubs her eyes as if to back up her answer.

Momma frowns. "Five hours isn't a lot, but it's enough to not act like _this_."

"Didn't get five hours." Charlie yawns. "Stayed up all night watching Vega sleep."

Oh my God! Tell me she didn't just say that. But the fact that my whole face is heating up kinda means she did. She really did.

"She's really beautiful," Charlie smiles lazily.

Oh. My. God!

"Charlie! Don't say stuff like that!" I moan.

"Why? You stretching?" Charlie grins. She's wide awake now.

Figures.

"No!" I squeak. It's a total lie; one so ridiculously unconvincing that I'd probably confuse a polygraph machine.

"Lemme see." She takes a step forward. A mighty bold step if you ask me, considering the fact that my mother is still in here.

"No!" I yell.

"Hell no!" Momma seconds, putting a hand up to block Charlie from getting any closer to me.

"What? Why not?" Charlie pouts. She actually had the nerve to ask that.

She's not gonna make it to her fifteenth birthday.

"Out!" Momma yells.

"Fine! I'll go eat breakfast." Charlie rebutals before leaving.

"Goddamn perv," Momma murmurs to herself once Charlie's gone.

I only have time to roll my eyes halfway before Momma grabs a hold of my jaw with one hand. Not too tight though. I can talk if I wanna.

"You're girlfriend's never coming over again." She says in a low voice. One that means she's oh so serious.

"She's not my…wait. You think she's my girlfriend?" I nearly smile. I mean, I would if Momma didn't have half of my face in her hand.

Momma lets go of my face and gives me this look, like she can't believe I just asked her that.

"What? We didn't ever…well, we never really talked about it." I say, trying to convince her that it was a legit question.

She's not buying.

She's still looking at me like I've sprouted a second head on my shoulder. Then leaves the bathroom, mumbling to herself the whole time.

I don't get it. Does that mean Charlie _is_ my girlfriend now? Or not?


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **So this is the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it, and thank you for reading the previous ones!

Oh, this chapter's told from Jade's POV, just so you guys won't be confused at first;)

{~~~~JADE~~~~}

Charlie.

I can't stand the kid. I just watched her eat her second bowl of _my _cereal with a serious scowl on my face. The first bowl was fine; I didn't say anything about it. But the second one I just don't get. It's not like she ate them back to back. No, she waited three hours after the first bowl to get the second one. Which means she waited until _after_ I spent _three_ freakin' hours helping her fix her hair, make up, and costume to eat more food.

If she'd spilled on herself she would've had to walk around school all day with a sticky top 'cause there sure as hell isn't enough time for her to go change into something else.

"Vega! Let's go!" I yell as I grab Aiden and head for the door. I tell Charlie to grab Ayla. She's good enough with kids. I'll give her that. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered asking her for help.

"I'm coming!" My oldest screams back at me. Seconds later, she's running down the stairs and I'm a little at a loss for words when I see her. She's wearing a flowing white skirt that doesn't cover enough of her legs with a top, (made out of the same material mind you), that doesn't cover enough of her well, top. I knew she'd be wearing it. I helped pick it out and fix it up, but now that I see it on her…

When the hell did she get boobs?

Charlie, on the other hand, knows exactly what to say. She wolf whistles and cat calls until Vega's face is beet red.

"Shut up Charlie!" Vega hisses. She looks like she's about to hit her, but I guess she thinks better of it when she notices Charlie's got a sleeping Ayla perched on her hip.

She tries to walk outside, but I stop her. "Go put on a cami and tights or something."

Vega rolls her eyes at me. "This is what Naomi was wearing. Me and Charlie can't be Michael Jackson and Naomi Campbell if I'm _not_ dressed like Naomi!"

"Why couldn't you be Michael then? You have the dark hair."

"Oh, but I have the bigger thing." Charlie cuts in. "So I'm like the dude." Charlie winks at Vega and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. Vega blushes even more before rushing past the both of us and towards the SUV.

My God, I'm gonna kill that kid. I swear if she knocks up my baby 'cause she's "the dude"…

I keep all the ways I'm gonna murder Charlie if she impregnates my child to myself as I make sure the twins are securely buckled into their seats. I only speak when I see both Charlie and Vega trying to sit in the back seat.

I don't think so.  
"Charlie, sit up front." I order.

"What? Why?"

"Cause I said so. Let's go."

She mumbles something under her breath, but otherwise complies.

I take a peek at Vega, just to see how much she's undoubtedly pouting about me taking her girlfriend away; but she's not pouting at all. She laughs at either me or Charlie before shaking her head and putting her ear buds in.

That was easy. I was sure there'd be more protesting.

As soon as I pull off, Charlie immediately starts talking, making me regret putting her up front with me. I ignore her the whole time. Well, almost the whole time. After a while she decides to start asking questions rather than just talk.

"Can Vega spend this weekend at my house?" Is the first one.

"No." is my automatic response. No need to think that through.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"But I got to spend the night at her place."

"So?" I counter. I don't tell her that it's _never _gonna happen again.

"So what's the difference between me sleeping at her place and her sleeping at my place?"

"I won't be able to watch you two at your place."

"I have parents!" She exclaims.

On and on it went until we get to the school. I've never been so damn happy to see Hollywood Arts in my life.

"Get out." I say.

Charlie rolls her eyes, maybe not playfully because I still haven't changed my mind about Vega sleeping over; but that's fine by me.

"Bye kiddos." Charlie waves at the twins. They don' wave back; just stare sourly back at her. They're not really into the whole waking up early in the morning thing.

Vega rushes up and pokes her head between our seats, ready to kiss me goodbye.

"Me first." Charlie says before diving in and planting one on Vega's lips.

Vega gasps and her eyes get about as big and round as softballs. I have a feeling that was their first kiss

"Get out of my car." I scowl her as I lean over and open her door for her, just in case she needs the not so subtle clue. I can't even begin to explain how much self-control it takes to keep from wrapping my fingers around her thin neck and squeezing the life out of her.

Charlie sticks her tongue out at me and gets out, but she doesn't go anywhere. Obviously she's waiting for Vega.

"I can't stand that kid." I mutter.

"I thought you said you liked her." Vega questions.

I nearly smile at her. She looks so much like her mom when she's confused. But I'm not really in much of a smiling mood.

"That was_ before_ I knew she could get my baby pregnant." I answer honestly.

"Oh."

Crap. That was her quiet, "my-feelings-are-hurt oh."

"What?" I ask her. "What'd I say?"

"It's nothing." She says, reaching for the handle so she can get out…without kissing me goodbye. I must've really hurt her feelings.

"Seriously Vega. Talk to me." I sigh.

"It's just…Do you think Charlie's mom will hate me too?"

"Hate you?" I scoff. "Why would she hate _you_?"

"You know, because I can…Um, I can do it too. I can get Charlie, you know."

Point taken. Well played Vega. Though I have no idea if she was scheming or not. She's half me and half Tori. She could've been scheming, or she could've genuinely been concerned the mother of her girlfriend wouldn't like her because she's got an anomaly in her pants. Either way, she's right. She can get Charlie pregnant just as Charlie can get her pregnant. Ergo I can't dislike the pixie blonde because of that.

I'll just find a different reason.

"Fine." I relent. "I don't hate her. You happy now?"

Vega smiles, genuinely filled with relief. "I love you Momma." She tells me before kissing my cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. Go to school. Get educated. And don't blink." I instruct.

"Don't blink?"

"When you're getting your picture taken."

"Don't jinx me!" She yells. God that was such a Tori wail.

Charlie knocks on the passenger window before pressing her face against it. Evidently we're taking too long with our goodbyes.

"God I can't"- Vega looks back at me. "…think of anyone better for my child than that darn Charlie." I finish through clenched teeth.

Vega laughs, knowing that that was _not _what I wanted to say.

"Bye Aiden. Bye Ayla." She calls.

Both of them ignore her. They always do. Yet she always bids them farewell anyway. That's definitely the Tori in her.

As soon as Vega's out of the car, Charlie starts moonwalking and dancing around her. Vega starts laughing so hard she can barely walk.

Charlie sidles in a bit closer to help her and the look Vega gives her when she touches her, my baby girl is totally smitten with Charlie.

Damn.

I fish my phone out of my purse and text my wife.

**Me: **Babe, we have a problem.

{~~~O~~~}

I can't believe it. I have to deal with Charlie for _another_ night! My wife wants me to have a talk with the girls. As in _the _talk.

When I let her know what was going on between Charlie and Vega she insisted that we meet Charlie's parents. Personally, I think it's a bit soon for that. Like maybe we should hold off until the girls are engaged, _if _they ever get engaged; but Tori thinks they're serious enough about each other now so…

I got Vega to get me Charlie's Mom's phone number and had a quick chat with her. And I mean a _quick _chat with her. The lady told me that neither she nor her husband will be in town until Sunday, that she'll pencil us in for dinner somewhere between now and next month depending on her schedule, and then she rushed me off the phone.

Honestly, I didn't want to talk to her anyway; but being dismissed like that did not sit well with me.

I really don't like that woman.

I called my wife back to tell her what happened, and all she heard was the fact that Charlie's parents weren't going to be home. So she made me tell Vega to see if Charlie wanted to stay at our place until her parents got home.

I wasn't gonna do it at first; but when my wife _really_ wants something from me, she has a way of persuading me to give in.

So here I am, back at Hollywood Arts, picking up to my daughter and her girlfriend.

Charlie opens the passenger door thinking that I want them to have the same seating arrangements as this morning.

I definitely don't.

"No, Charlie you sit in the back. I want Vega to sit up front this time."

"Okay." Charlie shrugs before getting out.

No argument. None at all. I barely even notice Vega get in the car because I'm too busy frowning suspiciously back at Charlie. As much as her argumentative nature gets on my nerves, it makes me nervous when she's agreeable.

Charlie gives Vega's shoulder a brief touch and offers her a small smile before heading for the back seat.

It was a comforting gesture and that's when I look at Vega, noticing that she looks a bit down.

"What's wrong with you?" I ask. All kinds of scenarios run through my mind. Some kids teased her because she's going out with Charlie, a girl; or some boys made an inappropriate pass at her; or-

"I think I blinked."

"What?"

"It's all your fault. You totally jinxed me!" She exclaims.

Relief. I am totally high off of the amount of relief I'm feeling right now. That's all? That's what she's upset about?

"There's always next year." I chuckle while giving her knee a few pats.

She scowls at me.

"Cheer up Vega, You're really pretty with your eyes closed. I should know, I spent all night watching you sleep last night," Charlie smiles.

"Thanks Charlie," Vega mumbles, a deep red blush forming on her cheeks almost instantaneously.

I roll my eyes, having just been reminded _why _I need to have that talk with them.

As soon as we get in the house, I set the twins at the dining room table with a snack; and I sit the older girls on the living room couch. I stand before them, subliminally, and purposely, making them feel small.

They look up at me expectantly.

"Alright girls, we're gonna have the talk." I announce after a few moments of me just staring at them to make them squirm.

"What?" Vega all but gasps. "You don't mean…the talk as in _the _talk, do you?"

I nod my head somberly.

"_Momma_, no!" Vega wails, clearly mortified.

Charlie on the other hand just laughs and sits up straighter. She's enjoying herself, eager to hear what I have to say. It gives me the impression that she's heard the talk a few times and can't wait to hear my version.

I pull a pair of condoms out of my pocket and hand one to each girl. "Wrap it up. Or else." I threaten.

This concludes my talk with the girls and when they realize it they both cry "that's it?" in complete unison.

Although, Vega's voice was full of relief and Charlie sounded extremely disappointed. Bet she expected me to stumble over my words and try to threaten them into abstinence. And now it's like I let her down by not letting her see me sweat and fidget as I try to explain that when two people love each other very much…and however the hell that speech normally ends.

Yeah that's not me. I'm more to the point. I basically told them not to impregnate each other. Or I'll kill 'em both.

"Come on, Charlie," Vega grunts as she pulls her girlfriend up and rushes her upstairs. She probably wanted to get away as quickly as she could before I changed my mind and started to add more onto "the talk."

She needn't have worried about that. I'm done and I text my wife to let her know so.

She calls me back immediately.

"What'd you say?" she asks without preamble. I take no offence. She probably doesn't have time to chat. Who knows what time it is in Tokyo.

"I gave them a condom and told them to wrap it up." I answer.

There's silence on the other line for so long that I think the call's been dropped when Tori starts screaming at me.

And though I can't really tell what she's saying because I've momentarily gone deaf, but it's obvious she thinks I didn't do "the talk" right.

"Babe, calm down." I slip in when she takes a second to draw a breath. No doubt she's just winding up to go for round two with the screaming.

"Calm down? You just…I'm coming home!"

I roll my eyes. She's being overly dramatic. "You're not coming home, Tori. You've got to finish you tour." I answer calmly.

Not that it calms her down any.

"Put Vega on the line. I'll do it myself!"

I roll my eyes again before sighing deeply and heading upstairs.

"Don't you sigh at me!" Tori screams.

I roll my eyes for the third time 'cause she can't see that.

"And don't roll your eyes either!"

Now that's just plain creepy.

I pause outside of Vega's door. I thought I heard…

No, I'm definitely hearing the springs in her bed getting a work out. What the hell? Okay, maybe Tori's right. I should've had the normal talk with them. I shouldn't have given them the condoms. I just really thought…no, I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I'd be okay with Vega doing "stuff" hell, I did stuff with Beck when I was about her age but….Vega's still my baby.

"Babe, I'm gonna have to call you back." I say, hanging up on Tori.

I open the door without knocking and both Vega and Charlie plop down on the bed as if they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing… And they had been. It doesn't take long for me to figure it out. The rumpled bed, the whipped hair, the fact that they're both trying so hard to catch their breath…

"You two were jumping on the bed?"

"Sorry." Vega mumbles, eyes downcast.

"There's a trampoline outside!"

"But the bed was closer, Momz." Charlie whines. "And it's not the same."

"It really isn't, momma." Vega tries.

"What are you guys, five. Do you wanna go to Chuck E Cheese too?" I goad.

It backfires.

Both their eyes light up.

"Can we!?" they squeak together.

"Jinx! You owe me a soda," they both say.

"No, you owe _me_ a soda. I said it first." Charlie claims.

"No I said it first."

"No I did."

"Momma, who said it first? Me or Charlie.

"You can't ask her, she's biased." Charlie counters with a serious scowl on her face.

I can't take it anymore. I leave the two in there to squabble like a bunch of four year olds. I think it's safe to say that sex is the farthest thing from their minds.

I call my wife back. She answers on the first wring and before she can say anything I speak.

"Babe, I don't think we have anything to worry about."

{~~~O~~~}

**Author's note…again: **Hope you guys enjoyed this, especially you **SKRowling. **I would've never written this if you hadn't posted the challenge in the first place.

And I know I kinda left this off at a pretty innocent place; and that some of you were wondering how sexy time would work with both Charlie and Vega having a thingamabobber; but I couldn't put it in this story because the girls are only fourteen. I think I'd have to make a sequel in which they're older in order to do that.


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